How often do you find yourself facing and listening to your own fears. Currently from a personal perspective it is an everyday occurrence. That constant, I cannot do this, I am not good enough, I will never do it, imagining the worst possible outcome, is so draining. The thing is I am usually quite a positive person, look on the bright side of things but I am still struggling. I am trying not to judge the circumstances and I am just viewing my tendency to look at the dark side as an opportunity to learn, my light will return and it’s just the cyclical nature of life. It will pass.

The problem with fear is that it prevents us from moving forward, from seeing what is good in our world and our fears are not a true reflection of how the situation is. We start to undervalue our own contribution in our worlds, it distracts us from what we want to do and achieve in life. Things stop being joyful. This is usually the time when I put myself on the yoga mat and reflect, breathe and meditate. It may be I ask someone’s opinion, someone I can trust, someone who has a positive outlook or at least a balanced outlook. Someone who can provide a true assessment of the facts.

We should not pull away from the idea that this person may actually be ourselves. We all know the answers we are seeking. Sure, it’s okay to ask for advice and support, we all need that in our lives, but if we can just look beyond the self doubt, lack of faith and trust our inner light we can move the toughest of obstacles standing in our way.

All my love

Andrea

Endings are very much new beginnings in disguise but the range of emotions we feel at the end of something will depend on the circumstances of that ending. For example in the past year I have left two work posts. The primary post was a job that I loved, created and enjoyed with the latter being a post that I struggled with for a whole host of reasons but then left to focus to start a part time post whilst working increasing the yoga and coaching work that I do. With the first post I felt so much grief and I certainly felt myself work through the 5 stages of Kubler Ross’ grieving process, denial, anger, bargaining , depression and then finally acceptance. An acceptance of the fact I was leaving something behind that I had loved with all my heart and invested so much energy and enthusiasm into and not to mention all the lovely people I had worked so closely with. However with the latter post because I had struggled so much with it and the enormity of the it had on my work/life balance, health and well-being the ending could not have come quick enough but it didn’t go without emotion. I left to be nearer home, to be able to create space so I could put more consistent time and energy into my business but that meant leaving my financial security behind and those fears started to kick in, what if it goes wrong, what if I cannot do it. There was also an element of excitement and just being at peace with myself for making such a big decision that carried risk but also felt so right.

Over the years I have noticed that how I react to an ending is very different. I think after years of yoga practice and meditation I have learnt to just sit and observe my feelings/emotions and just let them flow through, I am less likely to react. I know though this is easier said than done and there are times when like any other human being I will react and forget to just observe what I am feeling. The loss of a loved one is so painful isn’t it? Or reading something horrible that has happened in the world these circumstances will trigger a reaction that is so difficult to sit back and observe.

When time has passed, whether that is a few hours, days, months and years we will look back at our endings and see their beauty, their lessons, even the loss of a loved one can leave us a legacy that we can take forwards and share with others. They will live on, not only in our hearts but with what they taught us. My endings I have shared today we’re not easy but I already see the lessons and the purpose. I can see now that I had to leave the job that I loved to take me out of my comfort zone and place me in a situation that made me so uncomfortable I had no other option to look at all that was holding me back and make a decision to live the life I truly wanted.

All my Love

Andrea

I woke up this morning at 3.45 feeling slightly unhinged, an anxiety gnawing away at my insides, I feel too tired for this, too weary. I feel overloaded, overwhelmed by the media coverage over recent weeks of the EU Referendum and as I check the time on my phone, I immediately catch sight of the newsfeed. The headlines increase my anxiety and I know I am not going to get back to sleep. I make my way downstairs to get myself a drink, hopefully by the time I have finished drinking it my anxiety will have shifted and I will be calm enough to do some meditation or even some yoga. I make a pledge to myself that today I won’t turn on the TV, I won’t look at my phone, in fact I am going to turn it off. Why? Because I will not allow myself to be subjected to the hatred and negativity that is being portrayed in the media, whether that is social or mainstream, it’s untenable.

In the peace and quiet of my home and maybe in the garden (if the rain stops) I will remember that despite everything that is being bounced around the media I am still a human being, who loves being part of Earth, our amazing beautiful universe and I still see its wonder no matter what happens, I feel lucky and grateful to be able to experience it. I love my fellow human beings there is so much talent, so much skill, so much knowledge between them I admire and I am inspired by them all. I love listening to their stories, challenges that they have over come, their ability to love despite hardships, trails and tribulations. We are as humans amazing capable of so much love, care and kindness, that is our common goal. From all the places I have travelled around the world over the years and the one thing that struck me the most is that whatever country you are in we as humans are all the same, we have the same fears, worries, problems, we love the same, we care the same and we can be kind. I found it so comforting to see that, that no matter what country you are from, gender, race, colour as humans we are the same, the barriers are not really there if you don’t want them to be.

I am heartbroken we will leave the EU, and for the divisions that seem to have appeared across Europe, amongst the countries of the U.K, the hatred and the scaremongering, the fighting talk, the exaggerated press talk, the spin. It is all too much.

I voted to Remain in the EU because when I finally turned off the constant noise of the media spin i realised that my reasons for staying had nothing to do with what the politicians were saying, it had nothing to do with what my friends were saying or the newspapers. I realised it was about being true to myself, it was about sticking to my roots. With Italian and Polish Grandparents , it just felt right to be part of something bigger. My genetic makeup is wider than being English. It was about what I loved about myself and my friends that are English, Welsh, Scottish, Irish, French, Italian and the rest of the world. It was about being a part of something greater and the opportunity and freedom that brings.

I like everybody is feeling uncertain at this moment in time, I actually feel displaced. I do admit to feeling frightened of the future. However what I do know is that as much as I am fearful I know that it is love that wins out in the end, it really doesn’t matter what the fear is and over the coming weeks, months, years I will be focusing on just that.

Love Andrea

Saturday morning I am sat in a cafe about 20 minutes away from home. I am sat reading lonely planet travel magazine. I look up and notice opposite me is a vintage style sign with the words LOVE is all you need. An overwhelming need to write wells up inside of me. I think I was born to write I just find it hard to create the space in my head that allows the right words to come through. I already know what I have to write, the dialogue has been coming through for a few days. Unable to articulate the words I need I know they will come through better on paper or in the present moment typed onto my iPhone in the notes page.

Standing alone with your thoughts and beliefs has to be one of the hardest things to face in life. You know the one where you have an opinion about something or a dream you want to fulfil but you find that everyone is against you, no one is with you, you are on your own.

It takes strength and courage to stand your ground because you know in your heart of hearts that you are right or you want to do something that you know is right for you. The thing is, what I have learnt over time is that standing your ground and walking the path you deserve comes with consequences. People turn against you, you are frozen out, ignored and isolated by those who feel you should follow their path. Their path is better for you, they wrongly assume they know their path is better for you. To not follow their path to these people means you are disloyal, you don’t care, you are going to forget about them and so they try to control you by ignoring you or saying hurtful things.

We have been blessed with privilege
to choose what we want to do with our time on earth, we are blessed with the choice to believe or not to believe in something, and if it isn’t hurting anybody what is the harm.

When will people learn that to hurt, controlled or manipulate can have devastating consequences on a persons physical, mental, emotional and even spiritual well being. To walk your own path does not mean you don’t care, it doesn’t mean you have no respect. When will these people learn that to stand tall, have strength and the courage to walk your own path, to have your own beliefs doesn’t require their criticism, opinion or control, it just requires their love and support-that is all that is needed. 

The year before last at the beginning of the year I wrote a little reflection piece about the previous year. Although I had intentions of writing something this year about last year it did not happen. As you know I will not write if it is forced, for me the words only go down on paper when they are ready to go down on paper.

I have had a fairly quiet weekend, I have been working my way through “My Mad Fat Diary” watching one episode after the other I can’t really remember the last time I sat down still for so long. If you don’t know the story it is about the diary of a 16 year old girl who has suffered a mental break down and it follows her recovery, therapy and coping mechanisms in her world. It was quite a compelling watch and I certainly recognized some of her experiences, feelings and emotions in myself, it prompted some reflection on my own life.

I have a feeling that this will be my final piece in the Love Yourself Better Blog, I am not sure why, I just have a feeling that it is time for something new. I mean, “never say never” but it is just a feeling I have. At the end of the week I will be celebrating my 40^th birthday and I thought it would be a good time to write down what I learnt along the way…

Sometimes life just doesn’t go your way, it is always easy to say it but try not to worry, life has a funny way of turning out ok

There are many routes to success, you don’t have to follow a strict, straight path

I understand the benefits of having a 5 year, 10 year plan etc. I remember having one, I did everything on that plan but when I look back at that time, it was the most miserable time of my life.

Sometimes we choose a career path but later in life may discover that it is not the best thing for us, it isn’t the kindest thing for ourselves

It is ok to get up and walk away from something that is truly destroying your heart and soul, no matter what people say

Sometimes doing something new and different is the best medicine life can offer plus you never know what it might lead to

Be open to new experiences, even if things do not work out, you will obtain new skills and knowledge that will never leave you and you will be able to use them somewhere, somehow in your life.

Be open to knew people you just never know what you may learn

Sometimes people come into our lives that are just not good for us, they do not have your best interests at heart even though they say they do, they reflect your fears and have no support for your hopes and dreams

Some people are happy to support, encourage, love and help you,out in your time of need- keep hold of them, they are the best.

Always listen to your intuition

By all means ask people for advice but only you alone know what is best for you

Be true to your self about what you love

If you want to do something just do it, even if it is a case of taking baby steps for the next 5 years, it will be good for you

Just because your life isn’t like everyone else’s doesn’t mean it is wrong or will turn out in a negative way, it is just different.

Sometimes going with the flow just brings about the most amazing opportunities instead of trying to control everything and anything you do because ultimately we are humans not part of a process on a conveyor belt

Live your life and be with others.

All though it is hard, speaking up about how you really feel is the best way to go, it can move mountains

If there is something you cannot change, try changing how you think about it, try and turn it into something positive

I am sure there are many more I could write but I would be going on forever. I think what I would like to say is that even though life, can break you, pull you apart, make you cry and hurt you, you are never alone, there will always be someone somewhere experiencing something similar, we are all the same.

I don’t mind turning 40, I am quite happy, relaxed, peaceful and content with who I am, what I do and what I have experienced. For the record and I have said it many times before I do not feel old, I feel healthy, young and just/well myself really.   I have no idea what is to come but I know I am full of excitement and anticipation-it has taken such a long time to get here it feels good.

So as I was saying, I have a feeling this is my last piece I will write here, I just want to thank everyone for reading and supporting me whist I have been writing the love yourself better blog. There have been a few topics that I would have liked to have written about but didn’t but may be I will one day but in a different format.

And my final words…

Be kind to yourself, love yourself and if you don’t strive towards loving yourself better..

Andrea xx

Hello everyone, how are you, I am amazed and happy that I am back in the “Love yourself better”  mode.  I read a few different blogs and it has made me want to pick it up again and it turns out that with a bit of encouragement from a few of you that today is the day.

Today is International Women’s day and I was going to write about that but to be fair to the men I didn’t write about men on International Mens day on November 14th 2014 so I will just focus on all of us together, we have a nice balance then.

“When you know you are destined for greatness, your potential haunts you. It keeps you up at night, you won’t feel complete until you succeed.”

It is no secret that I did not do well at school, my grades were not brilliant, I had to do a year of re-sits before I did my A-levels.   I found it a particular difficult and upsetting time. I genuinely do not know why I failed, I am very conscientious and apply myself 120% in everything that I do, I thought that I had done all the right things. I sometimes wonder if it is because half the subjects I did were not the ones I really wanted to do, you could only choose certain options in certain streams or we were sometimes discouraged from certain subjects, for example I really wanted to do Chemistry but teachers thought I would be better at Biology.  I am always quite amused by this because in my re-sit year I chose Chemistry and completed the course in one year and obtained a high-grade pass. My A-levels weren’t exactly a success either and because I was a year behind everyone else all my friends went to University and I felt that I was left behind. I do not remember it being a particularly happy time. Luckily for me, even though I felt lost and scared for my future my parents just kept on encouraging me to keep going.

When I look back at that time I realise that even though the experience was quite an unhappy one I was being shaped for my future, I was being taught a valuable lesson to never give up and that there is not just one path to success, in fact there are many.  Once or twice in my life there have been times when I have been reminded of this. As American author and journalist Krista Tippet says,

“The things that go wrong for you have a lot of potential to become part of your gift to the world”

The day I got my exam results I remember sitting on the floor at home with my Mum trying to console me, I was so upset, thinking how much of a failure I was. I wonder what I would have said if “older me from 2015” paid younger me from 1991” a visit and said please don’t cry because you are going to have a Postgraduate Diploma, a Degree, and two more Diplomas. You will be a success, you will travel the world, write and manage your own business.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are times when we do fall in life but do not worry, just pick yourself up and carry on. Sometimes it can feel like you are banging your head against the wall when one idea after another seems to go wrong and you are lost in what direction to take next.  Progress isn’t about the big achievements,  progress and achievement comes in small ways too.  Just keep trying and don’t give up and above all don’t let the fear of failure stop you from playing the game…..

An amazing year has been achieved, it has been a time of change and development internally and externally.  It has been a time of surrender, letting go instead of clinging to the old and outdated. Leaving the things behind that no longer support Soul and Spirit, for it is there that the gold lies.  The gold  has been allowed to shine through instead of suffocating it behind  the controlling actions we allow ourselves to pose upon ourselves.

The seeds that were planted have grown and bloomed, the harvest is here.  For the seeds that did not grow there was no need for upset, no need for sadness, just a requirement to let them go.  They were never meant to grow, never meant to be,  and on this occasion had no part to play in the garden that exists. Even without them a beautiful garden still exists for all those who can see to see it.   The teachers along the way have been encouraging and supportive, steering me in the right direction and I thank them for what they have done and help they  have given to me.  I am thankful and grateful and will continue to support them in the work that they do.

My aim is to continue to let go of the past disappointments, release the fear and the beliefs that there are some things that are unachievable…BUT what was once seen has unachievable  has already been achieved, it has already happened, already occurred, you know it and you can already see it.

Love Andrea x

I know I have been really quiet with this blog recently, I haven’t really had that much to write about and as you know I very much like them to be a natural process as opposed to forced. It seems better and more genuine and full of integrity that way. I find that posts either come to me very quickly or they may appear as a puzzle during the week and I have to wait for all the pieces to come together before I write something. Todays post title is a line taken from a song called Demons by the Imagine Dragons

Recently I have been interested in examining some of my “demons, as in why I behave in the way that I do, procrastinating with projects fearful of what will happen if I move forwards, letting my imagination run wild, not learning from situations that have been and gone, not believing in myself, holding on to the energy of past disappointments etc

Explaining this from a psychological viewpoint, Carl Jung the Swiss Psychologist would refer to what I call my “demons” as my shadow, the dark side of my personality. Now the shadow can either be positive or negative but more so negative. it is where our primitive and negative human emotions live due to its unenlightened nature, completely obscured from consciousness. . Whatever we deem evil, inferior or unacceptable and deny in ourselves becomes part of the shadow.

No matter what explanation exists I am well aware that it is not a healthy place to be and over the past week I have been using my reiki skills to face my fears head on, shaking off the old ready for the new. I have been actively healing and making positive long term plans for the future and questioning the rules, restrictions or limited beliefs that I have placed around myself or by others. It is time for the future, It is as Jake Bugg sings, in A song about love, “but out there in the future, maybe you’re the rainbow.”

So if you find your self in a similar situation, you just need to sit down, quiet the mind and look inside yourself and ask your self why am I stopping myself from doing something? Then all you have to di is listen, because it you take the time to listen to yourself and be honest the answers are already there and I am a great believer of that.

I am going to finish with an Abraham Hicks quote, it was something I had seen weeks ago and I copied and pasted it in a word document to use at a later date, but then forgot all about it and I stumbled on it this morning:-

Take the worthiness that is yours, and let the “Fairies of the Universe” assist you. Stop taking so much responsibility upon yourself, and live happily ever after. Shorten that crevasse between where you are and where you want to be, on every subject, to now, now, now, now, now. Ride the wave. Just pluck the fruit… You don’t have to be the one who puts it in the ground any more. You can just skip across the top of things and pluck the fruit of all of the things you want. “Oh, fruit. Oh, delicious this, delicious this, delicious this, delicious this.” In other words, it’s all right there for you; it’s ready for you to receive it as fast and as soon as you will vibrationally let it in.

See you all soon

Andrea xx

Happy June everyone! Yes,  I got there in the end, I have finally managed to create 12 hours of head space to create a blog post this June.  I have been so busy, it is funny how having a couple of jobs done around the house, no matter how organised you are creates so much chaos.  Anyway its all done and dusted and I have cleaned and put the paintbrushes away.

I am sitting in my lovely garden having breakfast and reading my Lonely Planet magazine, a little luxury that I cannot seem to give up.  To me it is 140 pages of positivity that exists in the world.

I love to travel, it does not matter where, it could be a 40 minute trip away down the M62 to a place that I have never been before or it could be half way across the world, I love it all.  In museums I am the person with the headset or guide book happily learning away.  I particularly love stories about buildings and paintings, the history of places, little quirks that exist.  I love a breathtaking view, seeing the sunset, seeing the sunrise, I relish in the beauty of it all.  I have just realised that I am not quite sure where I am going with this but the reason I am writing this is because of the News on the TV.  I go through periods of not watching it and watching it.  I watch it because I feel I need to be aware of current issues but at the same time I do not like it because it is just so horrible.  I feel completely disillusioned with politics, rarely do I voice a political opinion but is there anybody out there with good and capable leadership skills? A person who you would be proud of and feel reassured by.  There is far too much violence, hatred, its just all so sad. It is not just the news though is it?  Its other programs on TV, for example some of the soaps, not enough love, just screaming, shouting, violence, crime.  Yet here we are living in this amazing world with so much beauty around us and opportunity that sometimes we just do not pay them enough attention.

So for me the  best part of the past week the TV has been switched off, living in my little world of flowers, beads and Spring Watch.

I have been wanting to write up quite a big blog post recently on places I have visited and what I have experienced in each place, I guess it is a bit different from what I usually do but …it is all about the love and positivity so why not. I will be working away on that shortly.

Love Andrea xx

Ok, so after a couple of heavy going posts I am going to aim for the lighter, happier approach today.  Previously I wrote about how restless I was prior to deciding I was going to travel, not really knowing what to do or where to go, how to dissolve the incurable restlessness.  In truth the answer was a simple one although not an easy one to follow…all I had to do was listen to my heart.  Listening to your heart can be quite difficult as sometime it does not fit into the way that we are programmed.  The heart may go against the grain, seem illogical and attract criticism from others but it will always tell the truth as the “heart seems to know things that the head cannot explain.”

As a home bird in 2006 to give up the stability of a home and a job just seemed so ludicrous and I had a bot of a battle with myself as I really did not want to leave those I loved behind, but in truth in my heart I knew I not only wanted but needed to go off and do something new, have some new life experiences, broaden my heart and soul. It was important for my happiness.  Listening to the heart is not easy and I have found that it takes practice to tune in and to really listen what is going on inside.  Obviously it doesn’t have to be all about the big decisions it could be just as simple as choosing something unhealthy over a piece of fruit, just because at that particular moment your heart really wants it.  Choosing to do something you really want in your heart makes you feel happier and a little healthier.  It is all about embracing the life we have been given and doing the things we really want to do.  It does not have to be all about the big achievements but all the little steps we take every day or every week to achieve all the things that we would really like to do.

A while ago I said that I was going to do a list of 40 things to do before I was 40, I think I managed to put about 3 things on the list and in honesty I gave up because my heart was not really in it, but over the past few weeks I had another idea.  I did not want to do a bucket list because I don’t particularly want to think about the inevitable but really to do something more positive to embrace life, so I have been working on my “live your life list”. A list of all the things that I know in my heart that I really want to do, there are no deadlines, just a list to work through at my own pace…here 5 things on my list that I do not mind sharing

1) Buy a DSLR camera

2) Go to St Ives

3) Be a tourist in Manchester

4) Have a greenhouse

5) Tour the HIghlands

Have you got a list?

Lost of love

Andrea  xx