Following the blog post on Trust, Faith & Surrender I thought it would be a good idea to share a few of the tools I have used throughout the years to strengthen my relationship with trust and faith. In strengthening our ability to do so can only help us to allow ourselves to go with the flow, surrender to what is unknown and uncertain. I do have to make a disclaimer that I am no expert in this area and as you know this is work in progress for me but here are some of the things that have helped me along the way …remember it always starts with us.

Take 10 minutes each day just to sit and listen to yourself, focus on your breath and listen in to how you feel, how do you feel physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually?

Do a short exercise, make a list, journal, make a mental note of your thoughts, belief, emotions and values? Are you living and breathing these on a daily basis or are you constantly swayed or over powered on them daily? Are there ways in which you can correct this?

Accept, know and love yourself for all that you are, make sure you root out any negative and unhelpful beliefs along the way.

Be honest with yourself

Get to know and understand yourself a little better, what inspires you, what makes you sad, how do difficult situations affect you and how do you react

If you know you need something or want to do something, do not deny yourself, make sure you find away of giving it to yourself. Always honour yourself.

We are complex, messy, unique and perfect individuals, it’s all part of our humanness. So forgive yourself, be compassionate with yourself and forgive others along the way

Trust your intuition.

These are the ones that resonate with me the most but I would love to hear if you have any ideas too. Let me know

All my love

Andrea

This year has really brought my relationship with trust, faith and surrender under the spotlight. It’s fair to say that my relationship with these three entities has been fraught over the years, sometimes I am in complete flow with them and our relationship is harmonious, and then other times we jarr, we fall out and our relationship breaks down. It will take some work and time time to be back on track again only to find ourselves in the same vicious cycle over and over again. My relationship with faith trust and surrender is exhausting.

I am in absolute awe of writers such as Rebecca Campbell, Gabrielle Bernstein and Lucy Sheridan who in all their books and work demonstrate absolute faith and trust in the universe. Their ability to surrender is truly inspiring. I can only hope that one day I can reach that level of faith, trust and surrender too but for now it remains a work in progress. Sometimes I give it my best shot and trust and faith with feel good, it feels peaceful but then the old fear starts to creep in and catches me unawares. I find myself saying to myself, “this isn’t going to happen”, “I’m not going to achieve this”, and then my fear takes over and starts to spiral out of control. It feels so overwhelming that I start to control things, for example I will find myself thinking “if I just send the email it might help move things along a bit or if I do XY and Z I will get the results sooner rather than later”. It takes awhile before I recognise that it is my own fear that it is at play here. That it is fear behind my lack of faith and trust which makes it near impossible to surrender to the flow of life and to the universe that everything has its time and place.

There are many reasons why our faith and trust in life becomes eroded and we will all have stories to tell and scenarios to reflect upon. What I have learned is that we lose faith and trust in our lives when what we feel in our hearts is continuously denied by ourselves, those around us and our external world. When you find yourself in that space, you are constantly looking for the existence of certainty around us. We find ourselves desperately wanting what we feel and know in our hearts to be validated by our external worlds, but the truth is there is no certainty. The battle begins between heart and head only knowing too well that it will be the logic of the head that wins out in the end and we find that we are unable to surrender and open our hearts up to what we know is true. We have been taught to favour what is sensible and the right thing to do whereas we label what we feeling in our hearts as impossible, not true and unrealistic. It is still something that I struggle with today. Learning to have faith and trust in myself and the world around me is still a work in progress for me and I am working every day to have an unshakeable belief in myself and in my own heart. It is only then that we can open up one step at a time to surrender to all that is good and meant for us in this life time.

Key Learning

We lose faith and trust in our lives when what we feel and know in our hearts is continuously denied by ourselves, those around us and the world around us.

To have faith and trust in yourself and an unshakeable belief in your own heart is a work in progress. It requires one step at a time to open up and allow ourselves to surrender to all that is good and meant for us in this life time.

All my love

Andrea

I think I t was about May or June time that my worlds started to collide and that everything that I was enjoying, everything I had created felt and became too much. I realised that all my ideas, dreams, my work was becoming such a muddled confused mess I had no option but to press the reset button. Deciding to press the reset button wasn’t an easy decision to make, and I cannot tell you how many attempts I had at trying to fight back and cling onto everything I had grown. The problem with “letting go”, is that you have to have the courage and the faith to release your grip and trust that there will be away forwards and that when the time comes for all that work and effort to come back together again, perhaps it will come back better than it was before. I had to accept and surrender to my reality, that I wasn’t really recovering from my shifts after work as quick as what I would have liked and my energy stocks were depleted, there was no energy for anything else. Some days I would spend endless hours staring into space. I had to accept that there was no other option but to let go and trust that there was another way forwards at this moment in time. In fact the more I accepted that I needed to let go the easier it became and I was almost willing for everything to fall away so that I could start again. I entered into a deep period of reflection knowing that the only way to go next was to go within. At times this felt lonely, but it was where I needed to be. I kept asking the same question over and over again what is it that I need to do and every time I asked that question the same answer came back to me every time, that I just needed to write.

It’s funny but before nursing, before any holistic course before yoga and coaching I used to write. I wrote poems, short stories, I wrote a travel blog and then in 2013 I started a blog called love yourself better which was about loving yourself but also using the world around us to inspire and learn. It was then I realised that I hardly wrote anymore, the writer in me was buried somewhere under the fast paced world of life and the craziness of just doing what I thought I should do instead of what my heart cherished the most. I realised that it was the writing that had to become the foundation from which I created from and that writing was the true essence of me.

At times the journey and path I have chosen to take his drove me insane, there have been so many twists and turns that I have often found myself so confused and not really sure what I am meant to be doing. I have come to accept that this is all part of the learning and growing, of being part of this world that provides us with so many opportunities. It’s about being human. Being able to share what I’ve learned and helping others along the way feels good, it feels peaceful and it feels authentically me. I guess it’s true what Deepak Chopra says that, “in the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past but you will find yourself.”

Key learnings

Life is not linear, we pick up opportunities as we go along and put them down again, recognising that all our experiences are not always relevant to us all of the time. It is okay to let them go, what is most important is that the lessons we learn from these experiences will stay with us forever to help us and others along on their journeys.

Letting go doesn’t mean that we have to let go forever. Letting go provides us with the opportunity to rethink what we do and see things differently and creating a greater foundation to work from.

It’s really important that we do what feels good to us, do what creates a sense of peace and be authentically you in that process.

Thank you for reading, all my love

Andrea

In 2019 I made one of the biggest decisions to take a step back in my nursing career, take a leap of faith to focus more on teaching yoga, developing a coaching business and generally doing more and more of what my heart wanted to do. I was excited, full of enthusiasm for the possibilities and potential I saw. It was probably one of the first times in my life I have made such a decision from the heart. I had let my heart rule my head and it felt liberating even though my fears and the fears of others were crowding me. I just knew in my heart I needed to do this, I needed to do this for me and my own heart.

Nineteen months on there has been very little yoga teaching, very little coaching, hardly any social media posts or interaction in the groups I run. I am very aware of my absence in this work that I wanted to do this year. I am sure just like what everybody else is experiencing 2020 is not the one that I had planned. Working in the pandemic has been tough, tougher than I ever envisaged. I have been grateful for all that I have learned and also for being able to use my knowledge and skill to help others during this time, even though there has been little time or energy for anything else other than resting, focusing on keeping myself well and staying in contact with my family.

At times I found not been able to focus on the work that I wanted to be involved in this year quite difficult. It took me quite a while to work out and accept that there was awhile to work no way I could do both. It just felt too much to cope with. I was confused and bewildered how in the previous year I had made this life changing decision with a specific intention but it hadn’t worked. I remember saying to a friend that, ” I just wish I could press the reset button and start again.”, To me it seemed the only real solution, but I also felt scared of letting go of all my ideas, plans, goals and all that I had dreamt of. There was a real argument between my heart and head. My head filling me with fear about failure and judgment and my heart telling me it was the right thing to do. I knew my heart was right, there was a better way to do this, there were things I hadn’t considered that I needed to consider and reintegrate into my work. There was so much I had learnt that I hadn’t spent time fully integrating into my work. Whatever I wanted to do I needed to create from a stronger foundation, a new way forwards, I just needed to give myself the permission to press the reset button, let go and let everything fall away.

Key Learning

What I have learned from this is that pressing the reset button is not a sign of failure, it’s an opportunity to re-think, reinvent & reintegrate all we have learned and the space to learn some more. I think that knowing this provides you with the confidence to move forwards.

All my love

Andrea

In the introduction to the blog on the About page I introduce the Facebook page I own called Spiralling Sunbeams (you are more than welcome to come and join us there). The concept of Spiralling Sunbeams is that human beings just like the sun radiate an enormous amount of energy that reaches out to others and the environment we live in.  As we learn and understand more about ourselves and love the parts of us that have been neglected and dismissed the more we can reach out just like the sunbeam and provide light , warmth, love, support, compassion and understanding. The more we understand the more we can start to see, think and do things differently. We will understand that everything in the world is energy and the interconnectedness that exists between humans and all that is surrounds us. We are not separate and whatever we say or do will always impact another or entity. Just like the spiral we start at the beginning and we rise up together, we lift the vibration of the planet and lend a helping hand to those who need it through our love, warmth and energy. Doesn’t the world need more of this right now?

Thank you for reading, all my love

Andrea

I can remember the moment vividly, Sunday 2nd December 2018. I had just taken part in a meditation as part of Jay Shetty’s Coaching Group. I was deeply unhappy where I was in that moment and nothing was how I anticipated it to be. In the work I was doing I felt so restricted, it lacked creativity and I was struggling with a tunnel vision to what we perceive as quality in care. I knew I had to do something. During the coaching session the words “It takes 21 days to form a habit and 90 days to create a lifestyle” really stood out and I was determined for the next 90 days I was going to take one small action towards my goal of becoming self employed. It was a tall order I knew that, but things really had to change. I had stopped teaching yoga something that I loved so whole heartedly as the job I had was so time consuming I felt smothered, it felt like there was no room for anything else. I was determined.

So I set about taking one small action each day, an email, a podcast, working on an outdated belief, working on myself doubt, talking to someone. I knew, eventually these little actions would create a shift that would put me on the path that I needed to be. By day 86, I had handed my notice in, I absolutely could not bare the feelings I was feeling in the work I was doing. I still needed to find work that paid my bills whilst creating space to develop my yoga and coaching work. A big breakthrough but then the fear kicked in, what am I doing? Who do I think I am? This is not going to work out? I am going to lose my home! I felt terrified but each day I continued to move forwards working on my fears, it was not easy by any means but I knew I had to keep going. Eventually I found work as a part time nurse, there were some sacrifices but it paid my bills whilst providing the space to work on what I wanted to do. I felt so much gratitude for the opportunity but grateful also to myself for giving myself the permission to do this. I knew I just had to give it a go.

This time last year, I had just restarted to teach yoga again to a small class. Things were starting to look up and even though there was another break in teaching I knew a stronger foundation was being built which would enable me to move forwards in a much more confident way.

One year on I am teaching 3 classes, I have courses to run and I am just in the process of setting up a 12 online coaching programme. I have started to do some webinars and plan more and as the business grows there will be my first newsletter planned for April. Yes, I am not self employed but it does not matter. The important thing was that I had to start somewhere. We often become so focused on the end result that we forget about the gold in the journey it takes to get to the end result. The learning, the people we meet along the way to share the journey with, learn from, the conversations we have, sometimes it takes a few goes to get something to work. I’ve started to realise there is no such thing as failure only more to learn.

When working towards my own goals I visualise a corridor and on this corridor there are rooms. In each room there are people to meet, conversations to be had, fears, doubts, old dated unhelpful beliefs to work on before we get the key to move into the next room. We are not always able to see where we are going and it can be frightening but if we keep the focus of what we want to achieve we will get there, just enjoy the journey and keep going.

Thank-you for reading

All my love

Andrea

Every single human being on this planet will have strengths, weaknesses, talent and skill. Some of us will embrace those elements, some of us will try to hide them perhaps for not wanting to be seen. Perhaps our talent and skill was not encouraged growing up and we were made to feel they were wrong in some way. I definitely fit into the “not wanting to be seen category.” From growing up the more I tried to “fit in” to what society thought I ought to be, the more unhappy I became. Resolving that unhappiness meant that I stood out and I have not always been uncomfortable with that.

I think the uncomfortableness stems around from the isolation and loneliness I have felt following my own path. I have often felt that path has led me away from some of the experiences that my heart so desires and it has been painful. For that I am guilty of not always loving my own uniqueness, I have not wanted to be seen.

Yet, I feel so grateful for all that I have experienced and learnt, that through what I do I am able to share that growth and learning with others to help them on their own unique journeys too.

Over time I have learned to embrace my own uniqueness. I know myself enough to know that sometimes it is best to do what does not seem logical to everyone else and just do what feels right for me. Of course not loving that part of me is only hurting me and is restricting and limiting my own potential, opportunities and dreams. So I have chosen to overcome it and learn to accept, embrace and love my own uniqueness. Never be afraid to be you, bringing your own uniqueness, talent and skill to share with the world can only make it a better place. Have the confidence to be you.

All my love

Andrea

Recently I shared a story on my yoga page about how I became a yoga teacher. It was one of those sliding door moments. I had completed an application form for a University Lecturers post but something didn’t feel right and so I decided to sleep on it. The following day an email appeared in my inbox from my yoga teacher saying he would be starting a Yoga Teacher Training school the following September and I just knew that that was the right thing, I knew it was time for a change to do something different even though the lecturers post just seemed the next logical step for my career at that time.

From that moment of making that decision my whole world started to open up and open my mind to doing something new. I left my Health Protection Job and moved into Quality Improvement role, working with care providers and also on the Dementia Strategy. We did some great work, won awards and achieved a lot of recognition for the work we did. We had some amazing collaborations, it was so much fun and a real joy to work there. I guess what I would like to share or what I have learnt here is that sometimes a fork in the road appears, what is in front of us can seem the most logical step to take but if we take the path that scares us the most, the one that we know our heart strings are tugging at it will open us up to experiences that we could never really imagine. Over time I have realised that the more I take a risk the more I meet and work with the right people, have the right experiences and learn the right lessons too.

All my love

Andrea

Earlier in the year I promised myself that whatever was coming towards me I was going to allow myself to have some time off. I recognised that it was very much needed on all the human levels, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Work wise it had been a tough year and I was exhausted, permanently had brain fog, wasn’t engaging in what I loved and even on the few occasions I did, it wasn’t lifting me up, I just felt flat all the time.

With the thought of some time off my thoughts quickly turned to what I should do with my time. I started to pull my lonely planets out, had my passport renewed, I could go and do some travelling. My mind was racing with thinking of what new lonely planet book I could buy, I am such a tourist geek I get excited by their itinerary suggestions and follow them to the “T”. Where have I not been? Canada, New York or perhaps I should go back to Australia, I have always wanted to go back to Sydney, travel the bits I haven’t done so Tasmania and the West Coast, Perth to Broome. I had to think about booking my cats into the Cattery. I was totally in my travel element and so ready to get the ball rolling when I heard myself say “STOP! Stop right now and think about you are doing.” Travelling is amazing I love it, I have always said it has been one of the best educations I have ever had. I love being away, love exploring, love taking pictures, the museums, the beaches, the cultures….I love the adventure but was this what I needed? No not really. I thought about where I had been the past few months, I hadn’t slept, I think I had lived on cereal and toast and sandwiches, I hadn’t exercised much apart from yoga, my hips and lower back were tight from the 17, 000 miles I had clocked in the car and there was no denying I was exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I had hardly spent any time with my family what I needed more that anything was home and the time and space to heal.

Recognising what I needed and what was best for me at this moment in time has had to have been one of my biggest personal growth moments. If I am being truthful with myself I rarely stop and seem to move from one project to another without giving myself much thought in the process or my time. As a result I have found my needs have come way down on my own priority list. So the past the past 5 weeks have been spent in quiet contemplation, making good nutritious home cooked food, catching up with friends, practicing yoga, reading, spending time with my family, being in the garden and spending time with my two cats. I have made sure I have engaged in activities that have been healing and put my well-being first. I am sure looking from the outside in I am currently resembling some sort of recluse but it was needed. I had to give myself that time and space. I had to return to myself.

There have been times over the past few weeks that I have felt guilty over how I have been spending my time, I could have done so much more with it but that’s the problem isn’t it? We put so much expectation and pressure on ourselves about what we should be doing and not doing what is right for our own health and well-being, everyone and everything else comes first. I honestly don’t know where I would have been if I hadn’t taken this time for myself, I dread to think. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish sometimes it is necessary for your own survival.

All my love

Andrea

Hi, so I took a couple of hours this afternoon to sit in my garden and enjoy the sun. We have seen a lot of rain over the past few weeks and I have noticed that the flowers have struggled to bloom. It was lovely just to sit here quietly with very little sound apart from the wind blowing and the rustling of the leaves of the trees and plants. In these quiet moments I am usually relaxed enough to create something. I don’t have to do much, I just sit and listen to the words that come to mind and I just fit them together like a puzzle. This is what I wrote and I thought, well actually a friend thought it would be nice to to share it with you all. I was just being a bit shy about it but of course I don’t mind sharing with you at all ….

The Willow Wind

There are times that we can fall into despair

Broken hearted we will say that life is not fair

For all the hopes and dreams we held so tight

We used our strength and resilience to put up an almighty fight

Did you not know you had to let go?

Just surrender and let the willow wind blow

You didn’t need to hold so tight

You didn’t need to put up an almighty fight

It was about recognising your limitations and your fears

It was about dismissing those stories that brought you tears

It was about releasing the pain and all that anger

It was about releasing all that made you a stranger

As you sit and watch the willow wind blow

Observing the flowers and leaves in flow

However things may seem to appear

This is not a time to give up or disappear

Sitting in silence we want you to hear

That uncomfortable feeling is just fear

It’s always been that old familiar story

Now allow yourself to feel the sunshine’s glory

We never know which way the willow wind will go

We never know when the harvest will show

Allow the heart to release it’s grief

And restore your faith and magical belief

All my love

Andrea