I think I t was about May or June time that my worlds started to collide and that everything that I was enjoying, everything I had created felt and became too much. I realised that all my ideas, dreams, my work was becoming such a muddled confused mess I had no option but to press the reset button. Deciding to press the reset button wasn’t an easy decision to make, and I cannot tell you how many attempts I had at trying to fight back and cling onto everything I had grown. The problem with “letting go”, is that you have to have the courage and the faith to release your grip and trust that there will be away forwards and that when the time comes for all that work and effort to come back together again, perhaps it will come back better than it was before. I had to accept and surrender to my reality, that I wasn’t really recovering from my shifts after work as quick as what I would have liked and my energy stocks were depleted, there was no energy for anything else. Some days I would spend endless hours staring into space. I had to accept that there was no other option but to let go and trust that there was another way forwards at this moment in time. In fact the more I accepted that I needed to let go the easier it became and I was almost willing for everything to fall away so that I could start again. I entered into a deep period of reflection knowing that the only way to go next was to go within. At times this felt lonely, but it was where I needed to be. I kept asking the same question over and over again what is it that I need to do and every time I asked that question the same answer came back to me every time, that I just needed to write.
It’s funny but before nursing, before any holistic course before yoga and coaching I used to write. I wrote poems, short stories, I wrote a travel blog and then in 2013 I started a blog called love yourself better which was about loving yourself but also using the world around us to inspire and learn. It was then I realised that I hardly wrote anymore, the writer in me was buried somewhere under the fast paced world of life and the craziness of just doing what I thought I should do instead of what my heart cherished the most. I realised that it was the writing that had to become the foundation from which I created from and that writing was the true essence of me.
At times the journey and path I have chosen to take his drove me insane, there have been so many twists and turns that I have often found myself so confused and not really sure what I am meant to be doing. I have come to accept that this is all part of the learning and growing, of being part of this world that provides us with so many opportunities. It’s about being human. Being able to share what I’ve learned and helping others along the way feels good, it feels peaceful and it feels authentically me. I guess it’s true what Deepak Chopra says that, “in the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past but you will find yourself.”
Life is not linear, we pick up opportunities as we go along and put them down again, recognising that all our experiences are not always relevant to us all of the time. It is okay to let them go, what is most important is that the lessons we learn from these experiences will stay with us forever to help us and others along on their journeys.
Letting go doesn’t mean that we have to let go forever. Letting go provides us with the opportunity to rethink what we do and see things differently and creating a greater foundation to work from.
It’s really important that we do what feels good to us, do what creates a sense of peace and be authentically you in that process.
Thank you for reading, all my love