I can remember the moment vividly, Sunday 2nd December 2018. I had just taken part in a meditation as part of Jay Shetty’s Coaching Group. I was deeply unhappy where I was in that moment and nothing was how I anticipated it to be. In the work I was doing I felt so restricted, it lacked creativity and I was struggling with a tunnel vision to what we perceive as quality in care. I knew I had to do something. During the coaching session the words “It takes 21 days to form a habit and 90 days to create a lifestyle” really stood out and I was determined for the next 90 days I was going to take one small action towards my goal of becoming self employed. It was a tall order I knew that, but things really had to change. I had stopped teaching yoga something that I loved so whole heartedly as the job I had was so time consuming I felt smothered, it felt like there was no room for anything else. I was determined.
So I set about taking one small action each day, an email, a podcast, working on an outdated belief, working on myself doubt, talking to someone. I knew, eventually these little actions would create a shift that would put me on the path that I needed to be. By day 86, I had handed my notice in, I absolutely could not bare the feelings I was feeling in the work I was doing. I still needed to find work that paid my bills whilst creating space to develop my yoga and coaching work. A big breakthrough but then the fear kicked in, what am I doing? Who do I think I am? This is not going to work out? I am going to lose my home! I felt terrified but each day I continued to move forwards working on my fears, it was not easy by any means but I knew I had to keep going. Eventually I found work as a part time nurse, there were some sacrifices but it paid my bills whilst providing the space to work on what I wanted to do. I felt so much gratitude for the opportunity but grateful also to myself for giving myself the permission to do this. I knew I just had to give it a go.
This time last year, I had just restarted to teach yoga again to a small class. Things were starting to look up and even though there was another break in teaching I knew a stronger foundation was being built which would enable me to move forwards in a much more confident way.
One year on I am teaching 3 classes, I have courses to run and I am just in the process of setting up a 12 online coaching programme. I have started to do some webinars and plan more and as the business grows there will be my first newsletter planned for April. Yes, I am not self employed but it does not matter. The important thing was that I had to start somewhere. We often become so focused on the end result that we forget about the gold in the journey it takes to get to the end result. The learning, the people we meet along the way to share the journey with, learn from, the conversations we have, sometimes it takes a few goes to get something to work. I’ve started to realise there is no such thing as failure only more to learn.
When working towards my own goals I visualise a corridor and on this corridor there are rooms. In each room there are people to meet, conversations to be had, fears, doubts, old dated unhelpful beliefs to work on before we get the key to move into the next room. We are not always able to see where we are going and it can be frightening but if we keep the focus of what we want to achieve we will get there, just enjoy the journey and keep going.
Thank-you for reading
All my love