Endings

Endings are very much new beginnings in disguise but the range of emotions we feel at the end of something will depend on the circumstances of that ending. For example in the past year I have left two work posts. The primary post was a job that I loved, created and enjoyed with the latter being a post that I struggled with for a whole host of reasons but then left to focus to start a part time post whilst working increasing the yoga and coaching work that I do. With the first post I felt so much grief and I certainly felt myself work through the 5 stages of Kubler Ross’ grieving process, denial, anger, bargaining , depression and then finally acceptance. An acceptance of the fact I was leaving something behind that I had loved with all my heart and invested so much energy and enthusiasm into and not to mention all the lovely people I had worked so closely with. However with the latter post because I had struggled so much with it and the enormity of the it had on my work/life balance, health and well-being the ending could not have come quick enough but it didn’t go without emotion. I left to be nearer home, to be able to create space so I could put more consistent time and energy into my business but that meant leaving my financial security behind and those fears started to kick in, what if it goes wrong, what if I cannot do it. There was also an element of excitement and just being at peace with myself for making such a big decision that carried risk but also felt so right.

Over the years I have noticed that how I react to an ending is very different. I think after years of yoga practice and meditation I have learnt to just sit and observe my feelings/emotions and just let them flow through, I am less likely to react. I know though this is easier said than done and there are times when like any other human being I will react and forget to just observe what I am feeling. The loss of a loved one is so painful isn’t it? Or reading something horrible that has happened in the world these circumstances will trigger a reaction that is so difficult to sit back and observe.

When time has passed, whether that is a few hours, days, months and years we will look back at our endings and see their beauty, their lessons, even the loss of a loved one can leave us a legacy that we can take forwards and share with others. They will live on, not only in our hearts but with what they taught us. My endings I have shared today we’re not easy but I already see the lessons and the purpose. I can see now that I had to leave the job that I loved to take me out of my comfort zone and place me in a situation that made me so uncomfortable I had no other option to look at all that was holding me back and make a decision to live the life I truly wanted.

All my Love

Andrea

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